Remember Skate Muties from the 5th Dimension? Bugs and Drugs? Nope, didn't think so. The issues rarely appear on eBay and you'll be hard pressed to find anything written about them on the internet.
SM5D (as it was known) was an A5 sized skaters fanzine with a Bristol slant from the 1980s, but it covered so much more - gigs and music for one thing. And, more importantly for this article, comics - reviews and strips.
Edited by 'Bear Hackenbush' with a real stoner/anarchic twist. Although it was produced in Bristol, it did have national distribution - through music gigs, comic shops and the fans (you could take ten copies, sell them, and send them back the money once sold, less your percentage). And if you couldn't get it through the regular chanels, there was always mail order. A cheque in the post was the easiest way to guarantee your regular fix.
The whole zine was put together like a serial killers scrapbook. All the text was cut and pasted onto the page with panels from other comics and magazines stuck around the words with new speech bubbles written by the SM5D team, often purile, but always funny (perhaps I should have got this article in before issue 11 hit the newstands).
Shot through the whole thing were comic strips, very much in the early Viz style drawn with real enthusiasm by 'Beano' amongst others, all with a skateboarding angle, as you'd expect, although later issues branched out into other areas and paved the way for the follow up zine - Bugs and Drugs in the 1990s, which had a much broader remit.
There were regular strips including Skateworm, Mr McGrunter and Grrr!! It's those Bloody Kids plus loads of one-offs. The first four issues were black and white, with a splash of colour added to the covers on the later issues. Issues one to three had a cover price of 30p, rising to 50p from issue four through to the end.
SM5D started in 1987 on a bi-monthly basis. By issue four the print run had increased to 2,500 (which really isn't bad for a small press zine!) and there was a fair range of merchandise available including t-shirts (from £4.50), badges (£1.25 for the set of six), posters and stickers (30p for an A5 sheet).
By issue five, the format was well established and the extra colour on the cover lifted it above other zines out there at the time. Those bloody kids had a potentially libel inducing appearance from Keith Chegwin, further on in the issue we get a centre spread 'fruity fashion frolics' - cut out the clothes and attach them to the y-front clad skater. There were a lot of cut out and keep sections in SM5D and in later issues became a real highlight
Another leap in the print run (4,500) for issue six, and the only issue to have two extra colours on the cover (red and green along with the black). The centre spread had a 'Bloody Kids' board game. Issue seven and eight saw the print run jump another 500 each time and eight also promised 'a Keith Chegwin on every page' - there was a lot of love for Cheggers in the pages of SM5D!
Issue nine came out in 1989 and was the final issue. It seemed everything had just got a bit too mainstream for the team. As Bear explained in his final intro - 'two years back - when mutie first spurted onto the scene - skatin' was UNDERGROUND, VITAL and FRESH, practiced only by the terminally stupid or the thick skulled fanatic. Now it's dribbled and dived into full scale MEDIA DEBAUCHERY (with as much credibility as B.M.X.ers).' That didn't stop them advertising a 'Muties Greatest Hits' to the 'thick skulled fanatics' - a 64 page collection with a threatened print run of 13,000. I'm not sure this ever appeared though - in later publications, issue nine is available, but no mention is made of this.
There was a three year gap before Bugs and Drugs came out in 1992. B&D followed the same formula established with SM5D but with a much broader remit. The obligatory centre spread cartoon cut-out featured a typically un-PC Crustie (tramp), a double page vagrants boardgame - possibly a response from the editor regarding the intervening years? Let's hope not. Also in this issue, comic strip regulars Matchy and Sticky and the 'We Hate Mick Hucknall Club' page. Unfortunately no mention is made of the print runs this time around (or Keith Chegwin) so there's no way of telling how successful B&D was.
Issue two arrived in 1993. The highlight of the issue was the colour centrespread - another cut-out and keep feature - 'Character Assassinations' - the first seven cards featuring B&D stereotypes ranging from pub local to crustie to death metaller - all drawn by 'Beano'. Although there were forty cards advertised in issue two, this jumped to eighty with issue three and then 100 in issue five - it's a shame only 35 were ever printed across all the issues). As established in SM5D, there was a great range of B&D merchandise available from t-shirts (£5.50 to £9.50), posters, embroidered patches (£3.25) and badges (30p each).
The cover price also went through a few changes - 50p for issues one and two, rising to 75p for issues three and four and a quid for issue five. Issue four and five both boasted excellent cut-out features, a real highlight for B&D - 'build-a-band!' and 'pop-up festival'. Again, all drawn by 'Beano'.
B&D had a more sporadic schedule than SM5D, with issue five rolling off the presses in 1995. This was the last issue in the A5 format. Issue six came out sometime in 1995/1996 with the price hiked up to £1.75, a new format (american comic size) and a full colour cover. Despite this, it was business as usual inside. The comic gems include three pages of 'Beano' music-based comic strips starring Damon from Blur's pop computer, Supergrass Gaz and his big shiny chopper (it's a bike) and Jarvis Cocker's quest for knockers (actually, that's what you think). These were Viz inspired, even down to Beano's artwork. In fact, the Jarvis Cocker page was actually printed later in Viz.
And that was that, as far as I know. Was there an issue seven? Does anyone else remember these zines? Is there anything I've missed? Does anybody have SM5D issues 1-3 (I'll pay)?

Thankyou and goodnight.